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The current year represents a full decade since the term “ghosting” hit the public consciousness. Back then, the notion that someone could abruptly cease contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the height of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a mate has only become more confounding – an commonly pointless pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by social media lingo.

Zoomers, a cohort who grew up during a loneliness crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their millennial predecessors could ever imagine. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown longer and more deranged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a comprehensive guide to the terms this generation is using to discuss love, sex and the quest of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most popular memes, by the end of this glossary you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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A

Authenticity – According to Zoomers, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

B

Bird theory – A social media test inspired by a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is engaged or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while radiating enigma and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This signifies going for someone who supports you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would get a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A meet-up where two people bond while doing chores, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do affordable dating in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Melting down when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie affluence, it refers to partners who choose against parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Open communication – The antithesis of playing it cool: utilizing dialogue, honesty and openness.

F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Behavioral habits signaling a prospective partner is bad news. Such as calling their exes crazy, bad tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits validate your choice to date a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These typically describe niche, largely benign quirks. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying the rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same things or people that you do (nothing creates intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately postponing climax so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An archetype promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Random and usually everyday dealbreakers that instantly shut down any sense of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic display.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the era of locking lips may be numbered since some gen Z prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance believable.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {